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Smurfnip Madness/Part 6
"You actually thought these Naughties were real and that they were sent by Gargamel to bring you back home to him?" Empath asked Smurfette. "I honestly thought they were real, Empath, but my head was so clouded by the smurfnip that I ate from the cookies that I couldn't tell if they were real or not," Smurfette said. "So naturally I followed them out into the forest, and that was where I got captured by Gargamel, who smurfed that I was so out of my mind believing this story that he decided to smurf along with it." "Every Smurf was so out of their minds being on smurfnip, Empath, except for Sickly and Tracker, who never smurfed the cookies that night," Papa Smurf said. "It was not an entirely pleasant experience for all of us, smurfing these hallucinations from the smurfnip that the smurfberries had been smurfed with," Tapper said. "All throughout the time that I was under the influence, I was seeing leprechauns smurfing here and there that were harassing me. One of them said that he smurfed my harp, so I was chasing him all around the village until another leprechaun said he smurfed my harp, and so on and on I was led on a wild smurf chase." "This one doesn't envy you for the experience, fellow Tapper, given that being under the influence of smurfnip was the last thing that you wanted to feel," Polaris said. "While we were all smurfing the effects of smurfnip, more than a dozen of my little Smurfs went out into the forest to gather more smurfnip for the party, and that was when they were captured by Gargamel," Papa Smurf said. And at that point in the story, Empath and Polaris saw that Gargamel was out in the forest with his first captive Smurfette in his sack and Azrael tagging dutifully along. "So when do I get to smurf my own magic wand, Papa Gargamel?" Smurfette asked. "Soon, my little Smurfette, very soon," Gargamel said. "But first, I need to capture your former friends, the Smurfs, so I can...uh, extract their essence for my magic. You do understand how valuable they are, don't you?" Azrael alerted his master to sounds that are nearby, and soon Gargamel could hear the sounds as well...the warbled singing of the Smurfs as they were going out into the forest without any concern for their safety. "Here they come, Azrael," Gargamel said. "They're so giddy with happiness that they don't even know or care what's out in the forest waiting to capture them." Gargamel and Azrael hid themselves behind a tree and saw a couple of Smurfs passing through, singing the Smurf song as they were skipping merrily along. Gargamel grabbed them both, and they just stared at him with glazed eyes, thinking that he was nothing more than a hallucination. "How are you doing, Garglesmell?" one of the Smurfs asked. "On, this is just too easy, Azrael," Gargamel said as he put the two Smurfs in his sack. "I should have enough Smurfs by the time the night is over to do whatever I want with them." Then he heard more Smurfs nearby, one of them speaking in a Spanish accent. "Hey, amigo, we've smurfed some pretty good pitufojuano over here." "Hey, dude, that's gonna be some primo stuff," another Smurf said. "Papa Smurf is going to be so pleased with us." Gargamel came closer and saw that it was the two Smurfs who were Spinner and Surfer. "I feel so smurfy that I want to smurf some of it right out in the open," Spinner said, making a sound like he was taking a puff on a cigarette. "Maybe we can smurf it up into a big smurf, and then the whole village can take turns smurfing it together," Surfer said. "Here, help me carry this into the village, man," Spinner said. "I just wish the other Smurfs with here with us to share in this wonderful bounty of pitufojuano'." Then the Smurfs turned and saw Gargamel nearby. "Look, it's that Gargamel dude who always smurfs after us. I wonder if he wants to smurf some of our ''pitufojuano, man," Surfer said. "Actually, I'm more in the mood for some Smurf stew right now," Gargamel said as he captured the two Smurfs and put them in his sack. "Aw, man, how are we going to smurf the pitufojuano now?" Spinner said after he was put in the sack. "Maybe he's got some of the smurfy stuff back in his castle, man," Surfer said. "Perhaps he'd let us have one last smurf before we get smurfed in the stew." "Hey, that would be far out, man," Spinner said as he and the other Smurf laughed together. ----- In the meantime, back in the Smurf Village, the Smurfs were dealing with all sorts of hallucinations that the ingestion of smurfnip has brought upon that it was becoming a madhouse. Jokey was rolling on the ground laughing like crazy, feeling like he was being tickled by a bunch of tiny Fuzzle creatures. Vanity was parading himself around with no clothes on and thinking that he's being admired by his fellow Smurfs for wearing the latest fashion, a suit made of invisible thread. Clumsy was just laughing and dancing and tripping to the sounds of the music being played by Twanger and Harmony, who thought that they were being joined by other musicians in a band. Painter got out his paintbrush and easel and started painting a scene of the entire village in bright garish colors. Poet was trying to compose An Ode To Smurfnip by using words at random, not caring how they sounded or if they rhymed or not. And Scribbler felt as if he was seeing everything in his world as well as himself as if it was all a living animated cartoon. In Papa Smurf's laboratory, Papa Smurf was having fun using a transformation potion to change himself from one form into another while Tracker and Sickly were mixing together the remedy to clear up the effects of smurfnip, all the while trying to keep Papa Smurf from grabbing the ingredients to the remedy. "There, this should smurf the trick," Tracker said as he saw that the remedy potion was ready. He had Papa Smurf inhale its fumes, which soon began to have its effect, making his vision return to normal and also restoring his personality. "Huh? What happened to me? What the smurf am I doing with this transformation potion?" Papa Smurf asked as he looked around and then looked at himself before using the potion to restore his normal appearance. "Papa Smurf, you've been...you've been...achoo...under the effects of smurfnip and so is everyone...everyone...achoo...else," Sickly answered. "The smurfnip was smurfed on the smurfberries that were in the cookies, Papa Smurf," Tracker explained. "I suspected that there was something wrong with them, and Sickly became allergic, so neither of us have smurfed the cookies." "So I see," Papa Smurf said as he looked out of his laboratory and saw all his little Smurfs acting like they were out of control. "It looks like I'm going to need to smurf up more of the remedy in order to cure all my little Smurfs." "Papa Smurf, some of...some of...achoo...the Smurfs have smurfed off into the forest to get some more...some more...achoo...smurfnip for a party," Sickly said. "Oh no!" Papa Smurf said, having a realization of who may be behind the tainted smurfberries. "Gargamel must have been behind this. We're going to need a few Smurfs to go with you and find the other Smurfs before Gargamel finds them." "There may be a good chance that Gargamel already has them, Papa Smurf," Tracker said. "I'll go find a few Smurfs that I can smurf this smurfnip remedy to." "I'll stay here and watch over Baby Smurf," Papa Smurf said after Tracker poured the remedy potion into a vial to carry it with him. "I might as well...as well...achoo...go with him, Papa Smurf," Sickly said as he left the laboratory with Tracker. Soon Tracker found the two Smurfs he was looking for -- Hefty and Duncan. They were locked in a duel with each other, Hefty using his baton and Duncan using a sword to swing at each other. They both seemed very determined to make the other Smurf lose his weapon when Tracker made them both smell the fumes of the remedy potion, bringing them back to their senses. "Michty me, what the smurf were we doing?" Duncan asked, seeing the sword in his hand. "Yeah, why was I even fighting with you in the first smurf, Gutsy?" Hefty asked, also seeming puzzled. "There's no time to explain, my fellow Smurfs," Tracker said. "We need to smurf out into the forest to find the Smurfs that Papa Smurf has sent to smurf more smurfnip before Gargamel finds them." "Aye, I have an unsmurfy feeling it must have been Gargamel behind making the smurfberries so delicious with the smurfnip," Duncan said as he sheathed his sword and Hefty his baton. "If he was a Smurf, I'd bust him for smurfing such a thing with the smurfberries," Hefty said as they went out into the forest together. ----- Meanwhile, in Gargamel's castle, the evil wizard had the several Smurfs he had captured under lock and key in a cage while he prepared his cooking pot for a Smurf stew. The Smurfs that were captured looked confused and even worried as they have no idea what was going on, except for Smurfette, who was seeing Vexy and Hackus appear next to Gargamel. "How could you make me believe that Gargamel ever loved me and wanted me to smurf back to him?" Smurfette asked Vexy, sounding like she was betrayed. "Oh, that was part of his plan all along, sweetie," Vexy said. "You see, you have been a failure to Papa Gargamel and now he's going to make you see that you're a failure because you turned your back on him when he needed you the most." "Smurfette not true sister! Smurfette not true sister!" Hackus said. "Well, if that's how you feel about me, then I'm glad I'm not a true sister, because I know who my real family is, Vexy," Smurfette shouted. "Right, those little blue troublemakers that you're now a part of," Vexy said. "I just hope you'll be happy joining them wherever it is they're going." "Hackus happy! Hackus see not sister go bye-bye!" Hackus said, sounding rather joyously at the thought. Smurfette found herself ready to break into tears. "I can't believe that I was smurfed into thinking that Gargamel ever really cared about me," she whimpered. "Oh, don't be so sad, my little Smurfette," Gargamel said, overhearing her comments. "You'll see that it's for the better that you'll no longer have a smurfy life to live because it will all be over for you and your little blue friends. You won't have to worry anymore about whether I would even want you as a daughter when you know that all I want of you is to destroy those miserably happy Smurfs, and since that is what you failed to do, I will spare you the misery of a long life of painful regret." "That is one thing I will never regret, Gargamel," Smurfette said. "I would rather see you fail and fail again to hurt my friends and family." "And that is why you will join your friends and family in my cooking pot, Smurfette," Gargamel said. "If I can't get the satisfaction of you destroying the Smurfs the way that I want you to, then I will have the satisfaction of destroying you with them." Smurfette watched tearfully as Vexy and Hackus gathered around Gargamel to watch him prepare his Smurf stew, even though he was totally unaware of their existence since they were hallucinations. She had a feeling that if they had really been Gargamel's creations, they would know firsthand what kind of a human the evil wizard really was, and they would not enjoy suffering under his hand should either or both of them would ever betray their master. ----- Tracker, Sickly, Hefty, and Duncan searched the forest until they came to a spot where Tracker stopped and smelled something. "I have a distinct feeling that Gargamel has been here with some of our fellow Smurfs," Tracker said. "You mean...you mean...achoo...that Gargamel has captured them?" Sickly asked. "I could feel that in my smurfs, laddies," Duncan said with some foreboding. "Okay, so if Gargamel has captured them, how are we going to smurf them out of there?" Hefty asked. "He must have the concentrated smurfnip essence around his hovel somewhere, Hefty," Tracker said. "If we can get him to smurf that essence, we can disorient and distract him long enough to get those Smurfs safely out." "But how do we...how do we...achoo...know that smurfnip also smurfs on humans?" Sickly asked. "If it's that concentrated, Sickly, there's only one way to find out," Hefty said. "Well, lead the way, Tracker," Duncan said. "Hopefully we can smurf there before it's too late." ----- Soon the four Smurfs found themselves at the window of Gargamel's castle looking in to see the evil wizard preparing a Smurf stew while his cat Azrael was resting. Tracker looked around the main room they were in to see if there was anything that had the concentrated smurfnip essence in it, and then he noticed it. "There, on that chair...it's some sort of sprayer," Tracker told his fellow Smurfs. "So do we...do we...achoo...have a plan on how to use the sprayer?" Sickly asked. "I think there's a way that we can smurf the sprayer," Hefty said, and so he whispered his plan to his fellow Smurfs. Soon the cat was awakened to the sound of a sneezing Smurf. He opened his eyes and saw Sickly and Tracker inside the hovel, and instantly got up from his cushion to chase after them. Gargamel was distracted from his preparations by the sound of his cat chasing after something. "Azrael, you nincompoop, stop running around this instant and calm yourself down. There's nothing else in this house except for..." He turned and saw Hefty and Duncan standing on the chair where the sprayer was. "Smurfs!" "Now!" Duncan shouted, as both he and Hefty squeezed the sprayer to make a cloud of concentrated smurfnip essence come out to cover both Gargamel and Azrael. Gargamel could hardly see anywhere when the cloud was sprayed on him, and then soon everything became a bright blurry and sparkly rainbow mess as the effects of smurfnip took a hold on both him and his cat. "Oh, Azrael, don't you see how beautiful the world has become? What an incredible feeling of joy that has swept over me. I wish that everything in the world could be this beautiful all the time." Hefty found the key to the cage that the Smurfs were held captive in and unlocked it, freeing his friends. "Hefty, what's happening to Gargamel?" Smurfette asked. "Oh, he and Azrael are just going to be feeling really smurfy for a time until we all smurf out of here," Hefty said. "I'd sure don't want to be him when he starts smurfing any hallucinations." "You mean, we were all under the effects of smurfnip?" one of the Smurfs asked. "Aye, and you can thank Gargamel for that, laddies," Duncan said, as he led the captive Smurfs out of the hovel during Gargamel's and Azrael's distraction. "Oh, Azrael, why do we even bother going after the Smurfs?" Gargamel said while he was so intoxicated. "What have they ever done to deserve such misery that we inflict upon them? All they want to do is live their happy little lives, and all we do is intrude upon it with our evil selfish plans...just for the simple sake of making ourselves rich. I swear that I shall turn over a new leaf and dedicate my life anew to the preservation of such wonderful intelligent beings." "Gargamel!" a familiar voice shouted at him. "How dare you think that I will let you ruin your life by being such a do-gooder to those horrible little Smurfs?" Gargamel then saw who was with him in his house. "Mummy?!? Well, I didn't mean..." "When are you ever going to pay me back for everything that I have given you, Gargamel?" his mother said, hitting him again and again with her handbag. "I put you through the best sorcerer's guild so that you would become a great and powerful sorcerer like your dear old father, and what do I get for my troubles? Oh, you make me wish that I never had you back when I did, because all you have ever been to me is a complete and utter failure." "No, Mummy, I swear that I'm not a failure," Gargamel said as he tried to get away from his mother hitting him with the handbag. Meanwhile, Azrael had his own hallucination to deal with...a big bulldog that was now chasing after him, making him run for his life. "Oh, I swear to you Smurfs, that you won't ever see the last of me," Gargamel shouted as he kept being chased by his own hallucination. "I'll get you...I'll get all of you if that's the last thing I ever do!" ----- On their way back to the village, Tracker had given Smurfette and her fellow Smurfs a whiff of the smurfnip remedy to restore them to normal. "I can't believe that I fell for those hallucinations smurfing that Gargamel wanted for me to return to him because he cared about me," Smurfette said. "That was the smurfnip getting to you, Smurfette," Hefty said. "I only hope this means you won't be smurfing that stuff ever again." "Believe me, Hefty, after tonight I don't even want to think about smurfnip," Smurfette said. "You mean this whole thing was smurfed up by Gargamel?" Spinner said. "Oh, santo pitufo, this thing makes me want to smurf my brains out." "Come on, Pedro, let's smurf back to where we found the pitufojuano," Surfer said, and so the two of them went their own separate ways. "I hope...I hope...achoo...that Papa Smurf was able to cure the entire village of that...of that...achoo...smurfnip digestion," Sickly said. "Papa Smurf won't let his little Smurfs down, laddie," Duncan said. "By the time we smurf home, our fellow Smurfs should be smurfing back to their smurfy old selves." "I don't mind my fellow Smurfs being all smurfy with smurfnip, though, if that's what they choose to smurf," Tracker said. "Whatever your feelings are about smurfnip, Tracker, Papa Smurf's still going to have the final smurf on the matter," Hefty said. "Papa Smurf only has the final smurf because he cares about us, laddie, not because he wants to smurf over how we live our lives," Duncan said. 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